That feeling...

I'm down 6.5 pounds so far this month...which is great. I've been really focusing on my eating choices and actaully saying no even when I feel like eating something. I was talking to a girlfriend the other day and I told her I feel like I have been eating like a pregnant mama for 3 years. I basically never say no to anything. Also, in the last 2 years when I get stresse, frustrated, upset with parenting twin toddlers I turn to the pantry. It is a junky habit and I haven't seemed to be able to squelch it.

Until recently. I've been really good...until, I'm not. I do that a lot. I'm really good at something, until I'm not. Hence this blog.

So I wanted to talk about that feeling. That feeling I get where I just have to eat something. It doesn't happen often, but here is how it goes down. I want to eat something yummy and usually not nutritious. Let's say chocolate. I talk myelf down to only having a yogurt with granola. That's healthy, right? Then about 10 minutes later I still want the chocolate, but I only eat some cheese and cracker. Then only a hanful of nuts. Then only a bowl of cereal. Then only a smoothie. Then finally because I am so fed up with not satifying my craving I break down and have the chocolate...then usually some more because I am so annoyed with myself for eating 6 mini-meals instead of just having at I wanted in the first place.

Well, today things were better. I was so hungry after a long day at Grama's. Not a lot of filling foods and a lot of treats:( K wanted pb&h and a yogurt). PB is my number one weakness and I wanted to make myself a sandwich in the worst way.

I tried to distract myself by putting the kids to bed but when I came downstairs I was still hungry (like a Very Hungry Caterpillar)...but I kept myself in check and ended up having water, edamame, strawberries and 2 cheese balls.

I was proud of mysef for not chowing the left over pb&h...or hummus and crackers...or yogurt....or popcorn...or icecream and chocolate bars (seriously, why are those even in the house? Ma and Pa need to lose a collective 100 pounds...why have the temptation around?).

It is powerful to realize the right to say no and that I am worth it. I am 190 today and can not wait to get into the 180's...then 170's...then 160's! It has been 4 years since I weighed 168 and I am READY to get my 160 on!