Hello Dana!

Happy Birthday Kid Sister

I love you very much!

Now get your cute booty back on here and let's get some goals done!

For me

-continue to rock P90X

-COMPLETE kids shutterfly books...seriously!

-get crazy organized on finances for 2012

11-8-11

I'm on it!

On top of the world. Things are going great. Just started Week 3 of P90X...down to 177.5, lightest I've been since the twins were born. The house is clean. The car is clean. The fridge is stocked. The bank accounts are managed...lower that one would hope, but everything is accounted for. Christmas cards are ordered.

I'm feeling very organized...which I like because that give's me time to do the things I want to do.

Goal 165...I know I can do it with P90X:)

10/19/11

Doing it!

House is clean. No junk snacking. No eating after dinner! I have had 2 cookies each day the last 2 days. The first day I ate them after dinner with Eric. I didn't really want them but the kids were super whiny, not eating dinner, driving me crazy and I had to eat something sweet. I was happy that I ate them with Eric, as opposed to alone. It is nice to share a treat with someone you love!

Today I had 2 cookies during nap...or lack of nap. Another habit type snack. I was tired, trying to avoid chores, decided to plop onto the couch with a sweet snack. After 1, I even looked at it and thought "This is not that good. I should not eat the other one." Then I found myself eating it while playing on the internet. Lame!

The good news is I am feeling good and I am looking forward to eating healthier and dropping pounds!

Nike

Just do it! Possibly the best quote ever. Seriously, I always 'know' what I need to do, so why don't I just do it!

I have had conversations with several fabulous women lately...all revolving around food. Why is it that SO much is tied into food. We HAVE to have food to survive, so why is this one relationship so tricky to navigate?

DO

-eat when you are hungry

-fill up on fruits, veggies first

-focus on portion control

DON'T

-freak out!

-snack during meal prep (duh!)

-eat after dinner...you do not need it. It is 100% emotionally/habitually triggered.

Peace

Eat this

10/15

1-I found a good food goal, it is more competative that I care to admit so I will keep it to myself. But hopefully it work:)

PB banana toast

granola bar

garbanzo beans

raspberries (a whole carton, literally the best I have EVER tasted!)

cheezits

honey roasted peanuts

Chipotle veggie burrito

chips, salsa, guac

My name is Mommy and I'm obssessed with food

Seriously, I think I'm obssessed with food. Particularly self sabotaging weight loss with eating junk or even good food in too large of quantities. So, I am going to use this blog (that I have been neglecting) as a food diary.

Goals

1-start with a positive from the day!

2-document what I eat, everything

10/14/11

:) I enjoyed cooking dinner and I did not snack while I was cooking...and I wanted to.

apple

fruit

granola bar

peas

ravioli

salad

texas toast

cookies

icecream

peanut butter

chocolate chips

pb & choc chip tortilla

Hello October!

Goals
-Workout 5 days a week
-3 meals, no snacks
-170 by Halloween! Baby will be 1!
-Breathe and do not act like a toddler when my toddlers are acting like toddles...I am 31!

$250

$250
That's how much our new gym membership costs per month!
That is $8.33 per day to focus on health and fitness.
It doesn't look that impressive that way.
Let's try this...
that's $3,000 per year to focus on health and fitness!
Get your booty in that gym and stop snacking.
165 will be mine!

CA!

We moved! We made it through that 6 week crazy period and as much as things are easier now that we are back together as a family...things still seem to be ridiculously crazy with the big kids. They are both SO hard lately. Not all the time, but the times when it is bad...it blows. Trying to get a routine and have patience with everything...including myself.
Off to have some wine in the jacuzzi...that should help, right?

vacation - day 1

today was actually really productive for being a day off and barely leaving the house. tim and i are almost caught up with dexter, i went grocery shopping, i read half of exodus, and i made chicken and noodles (accidentally - it was originally supposed to be chicken noodle soup). all in all a pretty good day.

and i have this stuck in my head: wear sunscreen

you would think...

...that focusing on work, working out, and sleep would be good for me. instead i've somehow worked myself into exhaustion and gotten myself some sort of stomach bug. i guess the four hours a night working on cutting out letters and coloring has gotten to me. also probably something in the Egyptian water. either way, the combination knocked me out today. i was hoping to make it to the weekend (which is only Friday for me this week, work on Saturday, but then a week off) but spending so much time awake last night left me exhausted when it came time for my alarm to go off. at least i followed proper procedure and totally checked in with my supervisor and everything. now i just actually have to go find a doctor here so that i don't lose a day of pay.

other than that, everything at work is going well - i've made adorable construction paper trains and cars and roads and put up displays all around my room. there's really not much more i can do except lesson plans (which we are covering together tomorrow) and wait for my class list so i can write the kids' names on all of their books (which i lugged up to my room yesterday - 30 sets of 14 books) and the welcome board and the cubbies and the back of their chairs. that class list is kind of important.... but we don't get it today so i still feel like i'm in a good position even with a day out.

i guess i just need to focus more on what my body needs, stop eating crappy egyptian pizza every day and drink more water. i can't even imagine what life will be like with the students!

189...wah wah

Guess who ate a dozen mini cupcakes today?
Honestly, I am in a really stressful time in my life (a short time...about 10 days) but I am not too upset for falling off the wagon. I would much rather be shovelling food in my mouth to handle stress than yell at my kids.
Here's to making it to September 1st and getting back to 183 asap!

Home...for the next 10 days:(

We had a faubulous trip to Maui and I will report more later. I just wanted to check in a jot down my eating habits for the week. Ugh, I just let go. I was mostly vegan...I have a bit of cheese and eggs one morning. But the snacking was out of control. It wasn't even yummy treats, I was just eating...because it was there and that is what I do with that particular group (my husband, mom and dad). So frusrtating. I'm going to pop on the scale in the morning and see how she looks:) I was 185 the day I left and had been 183.5 earlier in the week.
Looking forward to a good weekend and getting back into a routine and learning how to stay on track with the move and living with Eric again.
I can do it!
165, 165, 165!

It's the little things

since Big Sister has been posting so many times I decided it's my turn now, but lo and behold when I signed into the site I couldn't figure out to add a new post because all of the links are in Arabic! gah! it didn't take me too long to figure out how to do this, but I hope that it won't be an issue each time I want to update.

I'm back in Cairo now and it's time to start living my 'real life'

the next few weeks will be busy and exciting, I just started orientation for my teaching job and I'm hoping I can settle into a good routine WHICH WILL INCLUDE UPDATING THIS AND MY OTHER BLOG

the goals include :

-learning to budget (and getting a paycheck)
-writing my thesis (probably going to start really working on it after a few weeks of teaching)
-updating the blogs (I'm two for two today, hope I'm not going to wear myself out at the start)
-working out (Tim and I already did a Sweatin' to the Oldies and he said he would be willing to do it three times a week!)
-getting enough sleep (jetlag is KILLER)

so in the spirit of that last goal, it's off to bed!

In it!

Ok, I am literally in a personal hell right now. Eric has been gone for 12 days, kids have not napped, house looks like a tornado, I have to pack for Hawaii and Eric just missed his flight. I have not handled it well. As in, I have yelled "Get the F outside!" to my children and have been spooning peanut butter and chocolate chips into my mouth for the last 30 minutes. This is a high stress time and a missed flight just pushed me over the edge.
I wish I was stronger. I wish I had another outlet besides taking out all of my frustrations on my children. I wish I did not procrastinate and had finished packing Wednesday night like I had planned.
I am trying to step back (and blog) and get some perspective. I just texted Eric that we are lucky there was a later flight, it is payday, he missed the flight because he was getting us our new house (yay!), we are headed to Maui tomorrow, and we have 3 amazing children and a fabulous marriage. Thinking about all of these big things that are wonderful help...and I am putting my expectations on hold and spending the next 2 hours with my kids (and my computer:).
#1 goal for the week...no more F-bombs with the kids. Pathetic, I know. But that is where I am this week:(

Need some motivation...

So...my biggest eating trigger has reared it's ugly head. Avoidance! I have so much to do, I would rather avoid it all and go eat. to do tomorrow...
-keep 3 kids alive and happy
-clean house
-do laundry
-fold laundry
-pack for 4 for Maui
-get nails done
-drop off kid stuff at consignment store
-pay IRS bill
-blog for SFMDF

You can do it! No snacking! Stay away from carbs and chocolate and peanut butter...all triggers!

Shutterfly rules!

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Oatmeal, chocolate and peanut butter...oh my!

Seriously those three ingredients can derail even my most throrough dieting plan! I made homemade vegan oatmeal bars for breakfast. And boy were they fabulous! But I already found myself swiping a bite there, eating the kids' leftovers before I put their plate in the sink, reaching for just a pinch out of the pan when I walked by. Ick! I have been doing so good with no snacking, but the temptation of easy to grab baked items is too strong for me. I popped the pan in the fridge and am looking forward to a yummy veg filled lunch!

Hawaii in T-3 days...come on 183!

186

Whoo freakin whoo!

I am down to 186! I lost 10.5 pounds in July. It just shows me that when I put my mind to it, I can do it. Which is annoying when I am 'not doing it'. But fabulous when I am:)

The cyclical things in life are so easy once they get going...and at the same time so easy to fall off the wagon too. I am in an interesting spot right now, crazy busy, husband out of state, kids are sleeping weird, trying to wrap up my/our life in Washington. It is a lot. With that said, I am really loving it. I think I am doing a lot of things and I am doing a lot of things well:)

Wish me luck on my camping trip. Oh, ya. Didn't I tell you...I am taking my 3 kids camping by myself. 14 of my nearest and dearest will be with me, along with their six 3 year olds and 4 newborn infants. Should be an interesting weekend!

Goal is to weigh 183 Monday morning:) No snacking!

Friends

Just thinking about how important friends are in our lives. I have the awesome opportunity to really support a friend of mine who has shown me such grace, maturity and wisdom beyond her years for the last 14 years. I am honored to have her lean on me at this time.

Thinking about the relationships that build our life makes me look at the physical/egotistical reasons for weight loss as so superficial. Then I think of the life style and underlying factors that go with living a healthy/balanced life and I believe that keeping weight, eating choices and fitness are very important and managing my weight and exercise schedule makes me a better person and in turn a better friend.

Today we played with children, laughed, worked out and had a wonderful chat over a healthy sushi dinner. A truly great day! Now if only I was asleep at midnight and not blogging...

August 1

Looking forward to August. The first week vegan was inspiring. Clothes fit better, nice to feel 'in control' with eating choices and quantity! This will be a busy month, hosting friend for a week, camping (by myself) with 3 kids!, trip to HAwaii!, visit to Colville, baby shower, birthday party, family pictures, best friend having a baby and moving to another state. Wow, my stomache actually just knotted up while I was writing that. I think healthy food choices are going to positively affect my overall well being and stress level. And the continual decrease in body weight will continue to increase my self confidence, happiness, motivation!

Goal for this month---get more sleep!!!!

Success feels great!

I've been really 'good' this week! 3 meals, vegan, no snacking and no after dinner eating. I read somewhere to use the phrase "The kitchen's closed!" after dinner. For me, it is a better way to say "No eating after 8". Just sounds more positive and firm as opposed to a rule.

I felt so bleh after my California trip and I know it had to do with the physical aspect of the junk I was eating and the ridiculous amounts...but it also had to do with the emotional aspect. I didn't feel good because I wasn't eating well and I continued to not eat well because I wasn't feeling good about my food choices.

It was weird to feel good visiting with friends and family but feel junky knowing I wasn't eating well. It felt like I was hiding something. Hence I do sometimes sneak food and it leads to such complex, opposing feelings.

Eh, anyway. No more. I weighed 188 this morning and the 'high' from a good weight loss is invigorating. I had a good eating day. I'm feeling good about what I am eating and the example I am setting for my kids (although I ate all of the hummus and they didn't touch it, at least they were exposed to it right).

Also, only a week in and I already ran into my first vegan 'conundrum'. I had dinner with a sweet couple who are vegatarians. They made cheese raviloi and I didn't feel the need to push the issue of no dairy. I'm still in my initial stages and although I'll eat the way I want at home or when I cook, I have no desire to push it on others. I might feel differently later. The first of many moments, I am sure.

Big weekend with two social events and the in-laws visiting. I really, really, really hope to stick to my guns and stay with three meals, no snacks this weekend. Would LOVE to wake up to 186 on Monday morning!!

165 I'm gonna getcha!

The Vegan...Day 1

Just to really make it count, last night I bought Peas and Thank you and Veganomicon (or some other oddly named title)...both vegan cook books. If I spend money on it, it must be true.

So far today I have eaten

-strawberry soy yogurt, frozen blueberries, Kashi granola (Go Lean Crunch)

-vegan bbq, black bean, pineapple, vegan cheese (not as terrible as I was expecting. honestly, I was scared to eat it!) pizza, peas and carrots

-sauteed broccoli and onions with pasta and red sauce (so classy 'red' sauce), edamame, cherries

It is now 9:15 and I have been thinking of delicious things I wish I could eat...but can't. I wasn't a super bitch today...but the kids did get on my nerves (hey, there were 5 of them ALL 3 and under) and I got a decent headache...again that was most likely the kids not the food.

And I was 192 today. I gained 2 pounds at home, which quite honestly is not that bad considering how out of control I felt I ate.

Goal for Saturday 189!

Do it!

Do it!

Do it!

Wow...why didn't I listen to that feeling!?!

So, my last post was Wednesday and since then I have gone berserk!

I just completely, 100%, no two ways about it fell back into the habit of being home. I was at home (my parents' home) and just got into the routine of eating absolutely whatever the h-e-double hockey sticks I wanted. Even sneaking food, like I was 13 again.

What was the deal? It started Thursday night...I had a drink, dinner and dessert at a restaurant with Kid. Told myself I'd be better the next day. A friend came over and wanted froyo. I'd be better the next day. Then I just snow balled into a chocolate, carb, peanut butter, diet coke (like 3 a day...seriously!), candy, cheese eating loon. Truly, a looney tune.

My grand finale was literally having a spoonful of peanut butter and chocolate chips for breakfast this morning. Ugh, it is so annoying to repeat the same exact bad habits every time. Every.Time.

The worst part is that I even know it when it is happening. I reach for something and think, "Do I really even want this?" A couple times the answer was yes. A couple times the answer was not really, but I might as well. And the worst was when the answer was, "Oh F it" and try to eat it as quick as possible (entire box of Dots for no reason Sunday night).

So embarrassing.

So the logical thing would be to be rational, realize a lot of people fall of the wagon, have faith in myself that tomorrow will be better. Eh, not gonna work this time.

As of this moment, this exact moment, 9:25 pm July 25th 2011...I, Big Sister, am a vegan. A no snacking, no eating after 8pm, no sweets eating, no peanut butter (or cashew or almond or sunflower!) eating, no soda drinking, mother loving vegan!

I might turn into a raging bitch, but come hell or high water I am going to concer this out of control eating pattern.

See you in the morning...be glad you are not here:)

My Turn!

'allo there, I'm the kid sister in this dynamic duo. I'm at a point of quite a few transitions in my life, and if I'm not careful, a lot of things can easily fall through the cracks as life starts to get busier and busier. This blog is mainly about accountability, and my late-is-better-than-never start is just one of many things that I need to stay on top of. I have another blog I write in about my travels (currently about three months and four trips behind) and a thesis that needs to be completed by December, which would be easy enough if I weren't starting a new job teaching first graders in Cairo in about three weeks. The job is exciting and with it comes a whole list of fun activities like planning for retirement and paying off my student loans and just generally learning to budget. I also need to budget my time, balancing date nights around Cairo with all the reading and writing I need to do to finish my degree.

Nobody ever asks you if you want to be an adult, one day they just start sending you bills.

So I'm part of the follow through to make sure that this transition goes as smoothly as possible. The next couple of years likely involve graduating with a Masters degree, moving back and forth from California to Cairo, maybe getting married, paying off debt, and traveling. I also want to get in shape (this summer has included quite a bit of Sweatin' to the Oldies with Richard Simmons - highly recommended) so the occasional fitness goal will make its way in here too. Like doing a breast cancer run around the pyramids in October? It's written down here now, all I need to do is the follow through!

Cairo is three weeks away at this point. I have some research and writing to do, some more weight to lose (I'd like to be in the 160s before I go back), and some new people to meet (first impressions AND a follow through!).

Let's do this.

That feeling...

I'm down 6.5 pounds so far this month...which is great. I've been really focusing on my eating choices and actaully saying no even when I feel like eating something. I was talking to a girlfriend the other day and I told her I feel like I have been eating like a pregnant mama for 3 years. I basically never say no to anything. Also, in the last 2 years when I get stresse, frustrated, upset with parenting twin toddlers I turn to the pantry. It is a junky habit and I haven't seemed to be able to squelch it.

Until recently. I've been really good...until, I'm not. I do that a lot. I'm really good at something, until I'm not. Hence this blog.

So I wanted to talk about that feeling. That feeling I get where I just have to eat something. It doesn't happen often, but here is how it goes down. I want to eat something yummy and usually not nutritious. Let's say chocolate. I talk myelf down to only having a yogurt with granola. That's healthy, right? Then about 10 minutes later I still want the chocolate, but I only eat some cheese and cracker. Then only a hanful of nuts. Then only a bowl of cereal. Then only a smoothie. Then finally because I am so fed up with not satifying my craving I break down and have the chocolate...then usually some more because I am so annoyed with myself for eating 6 mini-meals instead of just having at I wanted in the first place.

Well, today things were better. I was so hungry after a long day at Grama's. Not a lot of filling foods and a lot of treats:( K wanted pb&h and a yogurt). PB is my number one weakness and I wanted to make myself a sandwich in the worst way.

I tried to distract myself by putting the kids to bed but when I came downstairs I was still hungry (like a Very Hungry Caterpillar)...but I kept myself in check and ended up having water, edamame, strawberries and 2 cheese balls.

I was proud of mysef for not chowing the left over pb&h...or hummus and crackers...or yogurt....or popcorn...or icecream and chocolate bars (seriously, why are those even in the house? Ma and Pa need to lose a collective 100 pounds...why have the temptation around?).

It is powerful to realize the right to say no and that I am worth it. I am 190 today and can not wait to get into the 180's...then 170's...then 160's! It has been 4 years since I weighed 168 and I am READY to get my 160 on!

I am a Half Marathoner!

I did it!

Yippe!

Honestly, I loved it...besides the beast blister I felt starting at mile 3! I was solo today, which was pretty boring, so I totally was that annoying girl and asked a couple who had a great pace if I could run with them. They were awesome! I ran with them for 7.5 miles straight! 7.5 miles, I have NEVER run that far. I was so impressed with myself. After that mile 8 was all hills and I could not hang. I walked to the water station at 8. Ran/walked to water station at 10. Started to feel a little burnt out because I thought mile 11 was a l o n g way off (due to a sign that had a 12 crossed out with an 11 on it). But lo and behold, mile 11 was just before the last turn around and that totally motivated me to run to 12. I walked and got water and gel blocks (OMG-so good!), by now I was starving. I told myself I would run the last 1.1 miles and BE DONE! I was so excited. I ran/chatted (not chatted like I wasn't exhausted, just chatted like "Let's bond over the last .25 mile of this half marathon:) with a sweet lady named Katherine. Seeing the finish line is not really motivating for me. It actually makes me want to stop then and there. But I told myself I would run to the end.

I was overjoyed to cross that finish line. I was so stinking proud of my body. It is humbling to think of how fortunate I am and how capable I am when so many are not. It is a great blessing and priviledge and I am thrilled to have really gone out there and given my best today.

Deep thoughts from running my first half marathon:

~I can do anything without 3 children hanging on me

~My body is fabulous and I need to treat her better (ie:get to bed and eat food that does something for me)

~Running a half marathon is like drying your hair, once you start you have to finish

~I can not wait to run with McKenzie, I even got teary eyed daydreaming about running her first race with her and wearing a shirt that says, "This is my daughter's first half marathon--->" and running by her side the whole time. I would like to be a good enough runner by then to know how to pace myself, and her, to make her comfortable.

~I would love to complete a race (of any distance) with Eric, a group of friends, my mom, my dad and my kids

~Running is therapy. Period.

I totally get why runners love running. I truly felt great today and can not wait to run another half marathon!

First Half Marathon tomorrow!

I am running/walk...hoping to finish and be able to drive myself home, my first 1/2 marathon tomorrow. I haven't been training very extensively. The farthest I have EVER run was a 10k...2 years ago. Oops.

On good days I think, "Eh, its run/walking for 2 hours. I can do that." On bad days I think, "Ack, its 13.1 freaken miles...on foot!"

We'll see how tomorrow pans out. It is a little pathetic that my husband is out of town and I literally have to drive myself, do it and go home alone. Sort of sad for a first day out. But, it also makes me feel powerful, confident, capable. I can do this. I am strong on my own.

Fingers crossed the baby sitter gets here in time. Arranging childcare, without overstaying your welcome with your sweet friends, is tricky with 3 kids.

In other news, I've have a big shift in head space. I'm really into working out, heavy lifting, fast running. Challenging my body and using it what it was meant for aka not being a sedemtary lump. And let me quickly clarify, really into, I mean really into watching CrossFit videos online, googling Britney Spears abs ala 2004, reading up on vegan recips blogs.

I want to get there. But I am not there...yet.

I am starting to come out of the new baby, how do I manage life funk. Ev is 8 months, rocking solids, sleeping, happy! I feel like I can leave her and go get my workout on. Or run with her and not mess up naptime too much. It is a liberating feeling. And I feel like I was 'trapped' at home, eating, being lethargic for too long.

I am only 31..I still have time to rock a bangin' bod!

Looking forward to the future...well, maybe the future starting around noon tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

Here Goes

The Follow Through

While chatting with my kid sister the other day, we realized that I revel in potential. I love making lists, I heart setting goals, I can plan until the cows come home. But, follow through...actually crossing things of that list, doing what I intend? Not so much.

Insert THE Follow Through.

We'll make a blog, we said.

It will be a fun way to stay accountable.

Stay in touch across the miles (California to Cairo). We'll blog our way to our goals.

Who are we? The Follow Through Sisters. Big Sister and Kid Sister. Kid can change her name if she wants, I'll stick with Big (heck I'm 6'1" and dropping some weight so as to not be so 'big' is a goal of mine...one I plan to accomplish on The Follow Through.